busyness

Endings

Another day

another week

another (school) year

finished.

I wonder how I find

the energy to do what

I do each day.

It’s a lot.

I get inspired from

project to project

not really following

a script.

Looking back

I did a lot of

good things for

myself & others

which I hardly take

time to reflect upon

& give myself credit

for.

Pink Lady Hellebore flower in fall grasses. Al's Nursery. Woodburn, Oregon

Pink Lady Hellebore flower in fall grasses. Al’s Nursery. Woodburn, Oregon

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

 

 

 

Categories: busyness, creative, creative writing, flow, fun, growth, Poetry, stop, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Moving On

One step at a time

forward or at least motion

to somewhere–backwards–

it could be–but movement

in a direction off

DEAD

center.

Going round & round

maybe.

AM I dizzy?

Stillness precludes my day

eludes my day

a center within

never visited

for very long.

I would like to hang out

there for a whole

weekend if possible

without shirking

my “duties”

or getting bored

or wasting, or at least feel

I’m wasting, my time.

Being is not taught

in school.

Such a shame.

The whole of society

suffers for it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: busyness, creative writing, learning, Meditation, Poetry, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Doves

It seems like the doves are getting

lovey-dovey.  The male

chases the female and I could

be wrong about that–being

the other way around.

It’s like a cat and mouse game.

Maybe it’s part of the courtship

ritual–a kind of winged

foreplay.

But eventually she’s going

to let him ‘catch’ her and

the dove population will go

up next year, or this year.

In the meantime, I see

one of them (can’t tell who’s

who–doves don’t change

color by gender) kind of

looking around in

my green, growing tree

in front of my deck.

Maybe looking for a

nesting area, but he/she

really seems aimless,

not searching for food

& not really engaged

in any purposeful

behavior I could see.

Doves are fairly ‘friendly’

birds coming closer &

staying longer than

other birds.

Peacock feathers

Peacock feathers.

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Categories: busyness, creative, creative writing, love, nature, outside, Poetry, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Not Sure What to Call This

“Do not fear mistakes,” Miles Davis told us.

“There are none.”

That (quote) helps me get started

in whatever I’m going to write.

I have a transition with the

full moon and time to “see”

what’s been happening in

my life.

With a week “off” from work

I should be able to set some

things straight.

Already, I see how having

more free time frees up

areas I could not devote

time to previously.

My body is going through

a major cleansing I feel

during this time.  More

healing foods are being

consumed and the universe

has an opportunity to

teach me some lessons–

sorely needed–to move

my life along to the next

phase.

We only go forward

when we’re ready.

So, all this thrashing

about trying to hurry

here and there, thinking

we’re going to improve our

speed of manifesting

what we want

is mostly useless.

All efforting like that

is a reversal of the river

which wants to go

toward the sea.  (I wrote

see initially–Freudian

slip but apropos).

I want to not just

sit and stare out the

window but neither

do I want to try really

hard to make my wishes

come into being quicker

than I’m ready to receive

them.

It’s kind of disheartening

to realize this and even

can lead to giving up

which may be just the

thing I need to let

my guidance carry

most of the load and

not fight it so much.

Fear and Love compete

for my attention–

only one can be center

stage at a time.

So, I’m not sure

what I love.

I love this writing.

I have a busy,

active life and if

I were to budget-cut all

the non-loving things

from it, I’m not sure

where I’d begin.  I

enjoy my life so much

with meditation driving

much of that enjoyment,

naturally.

Yet, I can stumble over

my own feet trying to get

to the love.  It always

seems just next, never

now, so much.

So maybe I can work on

that and practice will

open up my vision to just

how much what I’m

doing in the present

moment is something I

love & don’t need to

feel I’m “going

somewhere” to feel

better than I’m capable

of feeling now, in the

moment.

I’ve known all this

intellectually for eons

it seems, but emotionally

I’m beginning to be able

to live it as a reality

in my body, away from

my head.

I don’t know how much

further I want to go

with this but I

just thought I would

take time & prepare

myself for a longer

piece than I usually

write, figuring some

will take time to read

the length of it

and hopefully it won’t

be diluted by its

lengthiness.

Close up of Osteosperum margarita Pink Flare.

Close up of Osteosperum margarita Pink Flare.

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Categories: busyness, creative, creative writing, fear, love, Meditation, now, openness, Poetry, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Less is More

What do I love…most?

I love time alone…best

with nothing to do–

idle blissfulness

delving into the Self–

my inner thoughts

and feelings.

It’s not locked–really,

yet I don’t visit

there often enough,

it seems.

Slowing down & stopping

feverish activity–

even this writing–

may heal in ways

activity cannot touch.

I love to stay

disconnected

as much as possible

without feeling

I’m neglecting

“duties”.

Everything should be

relatively effortless,

nevertheless–emphasis

on the less !

Zion National Park, Utah

Zion National Park, Utah

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Categories: awareness, best buddies, busyness, courage, creative, creative writing, inside, love, Poetry, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Good Day, Friday

My day was uneventful

if that’s the way I

choose to look at it.

On the other hand, it was

filled with the best of

experiences I could have

hoped for.

So, without judgment

would be best, but positive

judgement can come in

second.

The wind seemed to be

at my back all day.

At review, I would have

had more clever, insight-

ful responses but I

did what I did & it

wasn’t bad consider-

ing…

I like playing in the game.

Sitting on the bench

gets very tiring.

 

Categories: busyness, creative, creative writing, flow, fun, Poetry, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Rainy Days & Thursdays

Wow.  I stay home & more

happens than if I go to

work!

Can’t say my life is empty

or boring–even if I try to

get some rest!

Anyway, I feel I’ve moved

through to a new place of

peace if you want to call it

that–definitely less anxiety

overall with it peaking &

moving through it until

increasingly overall

decreasing.  Or at least,

it seems so.  Some days

it intensifies for a while

and I wonder if I’m

going backwards from

a healing trajectory

but it’s just a digging

out of another pocket

of stress & toxic overload

for releasing from my

system.

I always recover to a

more or less ‘stable’ state

and I know what helps

with that & do those things.

What I’m doing now is

one of them.

There’s only so many hours

in a day we get to choose

how to live.

Categories: busyness, creative writing, Poetry, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Going Out/Staying In

Write/shop

’til you drop, right?

If I have some

energy left at the end

of the day,

I don’t feel like ‘wasting’

it in mind-numbing sleep.

So a creatively off I go

across the paper

and into the snow

plowing my way

forward

until an egg is

hatched

or at least

one is laid.

With the weather

being so cold,

to go out requires

a major investment

compared to a sweet

Summer day

beckoning you

forth.

So my enegy

for (not) going

out is transferred

to this page,

and all the

more welcome I

will be when I

do go out.

Close up of Blue-eyed Beauty (Osteospermum)

Close up of Blue-eyed Beauty (Osteospermum)

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Categories: busyness, creative, creative writing, fresh air, nature, Poetry, sunshine, Uncategorized, writing | Leave a comment

Know Thyself

Do I like my self?

Or even love myself?

Not what I do

or would do

but the me that’s

underneath the busyness

of the world?

Do I judge? when acceptance

is an alternative

and may be just as much

work or possibly easier?

Unconditional

is a word rarely used is

our culture.

My friend seems to think

I should have an opinion.

I have a hard time making

a fair call about myself

without having to focus

on the current topics of

discussion much further

removed from me than me.

May be I should get to

know myself a little better

before I make a call yay

or nay.  I’m not sure

I do all that well.

Categories: busyness, creative writing, friends, Poetry, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Nuts

Nuts! said one squirrel

to the other.

We need nuts!

I wasn’t born yesterday

said the other squirrel.

So, where do we get

them?  Winter’s coming

and nut season is

drawing to a close.

Santa won’t bring them

if you’re waiting for him.

We’d better start looking

around.

There’s never not been

enough.

Agreed?  Yes, but our

parents were the givers.

Now we’re on our own.

Well, let’s start

scavenging.  Nature

always provides plenty

no matter who gathers

them.

If we don’t roll up our

fur & get busy,

no one else is going

to do it for us.

Agreed?  Rolling.

Japanese maple leaf in fall color on black rocks with rain drops.

Japanese maple leaf in fall color on black rocks with rain drops.

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Categories: abundance, awareness, busyness, creative writing, faith, nature, Uncategorized | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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