fear

Dueling

Fear has two swords

to my every one.

No wonder! I never

win the battle

with it.

Not right away

anyway–how

I would like it-

it takes a while

and things I

try only deflect

its blow when

it has a hold of

me.  It seems

I have to do the

best I can

and keep going

through all

of it to have

it leave on

its own or

almost &

disappear.

some days

I don’t have to

fight this

battle, at all.

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Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Reprieve

I thought I’d lost it all–

I was in a panic.

Frustrated by overwhelming

circumstances

penetrated my defenses

left me feeling helpless

completely blocked and stopped

from seeing clearly

the way out

of what to do–if anything

to move forward

out of my predicament.

I trusted I knew what

I was doing

I was willing to accept

this level of risk

knowing/feeling that

I could handle it.

Then I doubted–

myself–and just about

everything–as if the

lights were suddenly shut off

and I was left

groping in the dark.

Thank God I found

a light.

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Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

 

Categories: courage, disarming, faith, fear, learning, Poetry, risk, surprise, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Sincere Speed

Maybe I shouldn’t be so sincere,

so nose to the grindstone

rule follower so I don’t

get into a lot of trouble

I have neither the energy

nor inclination to deal

with if the train derails.

Yet, anything I’ve ever

learned or found to be of

value involved stepping

over the line of the rules

and scaring myself

half to death

by walking into

unknown territory

left to fend for myself

sans rules, guidelines–

and sometimes my

common sense!

I’m torn between being

an adventurer (which I am)

and staying ‘safe’

pandering to my

invalid fears I so

conveniently ‘manifest’

out of thin air.

You’d think I’d do

that with things I wanted!

Mixture of Gerbera flowers at a farmers market in Los Angeles, California

Mixture of Gerbera flowers at a farmers market in Los Angeles, California

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: abundance, courage, creative, creative writing, fear, learning, Poetry, risk, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Rain, Rain

The rain knocks quietly on my

roof

let me in

it pleads.

I scoff.

You’re all wet!

You’ll inundate my valuable

being.

Cleaner I may be

but all wet like you.

Nature craves your wetness

doesn’t complain a whit

except you wear out your

welcome by staying

too long.

Otherwise you’re a welcome,

refreshing visit

unlike the drying winds

which produce little growth

save the spreading of some seeds,

and the lightning and thunder

scary & destructive

when they comes too close.

Rain just falls

by itself it is harmless

in excess or driven by

other forces it can

overwhelm the delicate flora

and fauna below.

Lightening strikes over farmland. Near Alpine, Oregon

Lightening strikes over farmland. Near Alpine, Oregon

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Categories: abundance, clouds, creative, creative writing, fear, growth, nature, outside, Poetry, rain, risk, surprise, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Me Again

If I wake up to a new “me”

who will I be?

An overnight

sensation!

I may tap dance

my way right out of,

or conversely into,

your life.

All my fears are gone

now, you see.

I’m changed.

I’m starting to really

like myself.

It’s a strange feeling

actually, when I feel

that self-acceptance

and even adoration.

The “old me” wants to

step in and find fault–

the smallest pebble

out-of-place–

to discredit my love.

I give it the boot

right away.

I see what it’s doing.

I am aware of its

nefarious ways

and even having

habit on its side,

I still kick it out.

My clothes still fit

but something inside

I’ve outgrown and

need to go out & buy

myself a new suit.

2M00919Dig-Round balancing rock

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Categories: awareness, creative, creative writing, fear, growth, learning, love, Poetry, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

ME

If I was j.u.s.t myself,

I would probably go off

the DEEP end, bounce in from

right field

to a grounder hit poorly, that

should have been an “out”.

Who knows what virus my brain

may release on the literary world?

Taking it by storm no

vaccine or antibiotic would touch,

it mutates and changes defenses

so quickly.

Me, myself & I, we stay in a

hole deep inside

lest the slings and arrows

of OUTRAGEOUS fortune

pay an untimely visit–

every visit from them is

untimely.

So, wounded, I limp back

home, licking my wounds

in self-pity waiting for this

wave of compassionate

self-demise to end.

Who am I, anyway?  EVEN

I do not want to really

know, for fear it would be

unacceptable, even to ME.

Eroded rock formations in Badlands National Park, South Dakota.

Eroded rock formations in Badlands National Park, South Dakota.

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Categories: awareness, courage, creative, creative writing, fear, honesty, learning, Poetry, risk, surprise, Uncategorized, visibility, writing | Leave a comment

Going for it

Wait one more minute–

that’s a minute longer

than you needed to

begin, to act, ask, tell.

No one can read your mind

like you can–well, maybe a

few gifted psychics.

001

Still, if you want someone

to know how you feel,

what you think, you best

use words–written or verbal.

I must admit, I seem to

sense a 6th sense that

kind of knows what I find

out later verbally.

Sort of an advanced notice.

But waiting slows your

process time and over-

rest or absence is just time

we could have spent

doing what we want–

even if it is fearful.

I push kids to begin writing

when they only know

maybe a few hundred words.

I also let them think of an

idea and for some it takes

longer than others.

Still, you could wait

forever & lose your

opportunity…

 

Categories: courage, creative, creative writing, fear, Poetry, possibilities, risk, time, timing, Uncategorized, writing | Leave a comment

I Can

Everything’s telling me I can’t

but I’m going to anyway.

I saw how powerful my mind

and thoughts were today,

taking away pain if I

focused on the positive–on

what I wanted.

It just took a little while

of concerted “effort” & con-

centration to build up

a momentum where I didn’t

have to do that anymore.

I was just on “auto pilot”.

When the pain occasionally

surfaced–it was constant in

the beginning–I just

did what I did continuously

to get going for a brief

moment, and I was

on the road again–pain

free.

It wasn’t my body–

that was just the result

of my “negative”, weak

thinking that manifested

in the habit of pain & “I

can’t do it”.  It was just easier

to give up when the going

got tough than push through

it with some effort in my

thinking and that pushed

my body forward.

 

Categories: awareness, courage, creative writing, fear, freedom, fresh air, fun, love, people, Poetry, risk, running, surprise, Uncategorized, vision | 5 Comments

Ups and Downs

Inside I feel all tore up.  My feelings

are no longer recognizable.

Changing, shape-shifting from hope &

optimism to the opposite, mostly dominated

by that demon fear and his cohorts.

Like a light bulb, flickering to go out.

Not shining consistently.

Not dependable for light.

Back up systems, intuition & gut

feelings are leading the way but

it’s dangerous seeming, walking,

feeling my way in the dark, so to

speak.

I can stand back & see the nonsense of

the fears but not for long & I feel

I have to go through them to leave

them.

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong &

I’m doing this emotional travail

to myself needlessly, and maybe

not.

All I can,  anybody can, do is keep

going.  It gets easier when it’s hard

and visa versa.

 

 

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Faith

People help me when I need help.

Of course, it’s helpful to ask for it.

Not everyone will know you need

help.

Not to chase after it

but if you need something

like this writing

to calm down

then do it

and let the unsure,

scary feelings pass

out of you.

They will go.

Just because there’s a little

pressure that is new

is not a reason to

cash in all your chips

and go home.

Keep going in the

direction you’re going in.

There’s no reason to

give up making

‘conscious’ forward

progress.

 

Categories: creative writing, faith, fear, growth, learning, now, possibilities, stop, Uncategorized, walking, writing | Leave a comment

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