Start Now

He who hestitates…well, he’ll just

have to wait longer for a result

to happen.  You got all day?  I don’t

either.  So, unless I get started,

nothing will get finished.

Hesitation, procrastination–all

garbage can candidates.

You know what you want.  It’s

inside, sometimes buried under

heaps of non-essentials.

But go digging with whatever

clarity you can manage, and

an acceptable solution will

appear.

Sometimes you just have to

take your best guess as

to what your inner being

is wanting you to see

& do.

But if you wait & don’t

try something–like I

tell my students–I

can’t correct a blank

paper.  Write something,

anything & we’ll see

what you’ve got.

Eroded rock formations in Badlands National Park, South Dakota.

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not Sure What to Call This

“Do not fear mistakes,” Miles Davis told us.

“There are none.”

That (quote) helps me get started

in whatever I’m going to write.

I have a transition with the

full moon and time to “see”

what’s been happening in

my life.

With a week “off” from work

I should be able to set some

things straight.

Already, I see how having

more free time frees up

areas I could not devote

time to previously.

My body is going through

a major cleansing I feel

during this time.  More

healing foods are being

consumed and the universe

has an opportunity to

teach me some lessons–

sorely needed–to move

my life along to the next

phase.

We only go forward

when we’re ready.

So, all this thrashing

about trying to hurry

here and there, thinking

we’re going to improve our

speed of manifesting

what we want

is mostly useless.

All efforting like that

is a reversal of the river

which wants to go

toward the sea.  (I wrote

see initially–Freudian

slip but apropos).

I want to not just

sit and stare out the

window but neither

do I want to try really

hard to make my wishes

come into being quicker

than I’m ready to receive

them.

It’s kind of disheartening

to realize this and even

can lead to giving up

which may be just the

thing I need to let

my guidance carry

most of the load and

not fight it so much.

Fear and Love compete

for my attention–

only one can be center

stage at a time.

So, I’m not sure

what I love.

I love this writing.

I have a busy,

active life and if

I were to budget-cut all

the non-loving things

from it, I’m not sure

where I’d begin.  I

enjoy my life so much

with meditation driving

much of that enjoyment,

naturally.

Yet, I can stumble over

my own feet trying to get

to the love.  It always

seems just next, never

now, so much.

So maybe I can work on

that and practice will

open up my vision to just

how much what I’m

doing in the present

moment is something I

love & don’t need to

feel I’m “going

somewhere” to feel

better than I’m capable

of feeling now, in the

moment.

I’ve known all this

intellectually for eons

it seems, but emotionally

I’m beginning to be able

to live it as a reality

in my body, away from

my head.

I don’t know how much

further I want to go

with this but I

just thought I would

take time & prepare

myself for a longer

piece than I usually

write, figuring some

will take time to read

the length of it

and hopefully it won’t

be diluted by its

lengthiness.

Close up of Osteosperum margarita Pink Flare.

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Tomorrow

I don’t want to

live tomorrow

today

but that’s what

I do when I let

my anxiety

pummel me

with its “fake

news”.

No. I can wait

until tomorrow

comes & see

what it looks

like.

It will be

perfect whatever

transpires.

It always is.

Time

Sometimes the future

seems more desirable

than now.

But it isn’t.

You, I, cannot live

anywhen but now,

one now at a time.

(they seem to go in

order on this planet).

(But no skipping

ahead!)  One to a

customer “at a time”

works best.

Multi-tasking can

sometimes ‘cheat’

time, although a

lot of the quality

is lost.

Might as well

enjoy the moment.

Can’t really

squeeze anything

more into what’s

already here.

Effects

We’re so circumscribed

in the greater scheme

of things.  Our direct

influence is limited,

its effects mailed to

us in a slow system

oftentimes.

So, if we’re looking for

reward to be instant,

it’s only partially so,

paid in installments

like an investment.

Its indirect effects

are infinite and

unbounded, traveling

to & through the

source of it all

in an instant.

I can’t prove it.

I just believe it.

So, I try to keep

a good thought

& let my feelings

flow without

injury.

Like gold, there’s

a lot of good to be

found if we only

look for it, & we

get better over

time.

Fun

I want to be doing something

fun everyday.

I didn’t say it wouldn’t be hard

work.

But I didn’t say it would, either.

Little kids live every second

to the utmost fullest.

They will “make-believe” if

things they want are not there.

Their day is always fun.

They do what they enjoy.

Adults may interfere with

their playful freedom

and try to mold them

into what they’re not.

Or something more “acceptable”.

If they learn to be a good

adult, they may have a lot

of unlearning to do to be

happy.

I know.  All of the fun things

are against the “rules”,

or most of them.

Still if it’s not fun

I’m not a bit interested.

I’m willing to be creative

enough to change to

fun at a moment’s notice.

Rest

If I could sleep

that’s what

I’d be doing

right now.

It’s quiet

& peaceful

at 4 am.

The air is

still

I am still,

but awake.

My mind

needs

distraction

from my

“supposed”

problems.

When I’m

feeling

better

about myself,

they’re just

there, in the

background,

not so

front &

center

nagging,

pulling at

me, as if

I couldn’t

give

myself

a moments’

rest–first

in my mind–

and then, thank-

fully, in my body.

Go For The Fun

No matter what happened,

I was going to have fun!

And I did.

At every opportunity,

I chose the most

enjoyable alternative–

what I wanted

in the moment.

I might have lost

control more times

than I wanted,

but I got it back

fairly quickly.

Luckily, I’m somewhat

skilled at doing that,

and had favorable

circumstances to work

with today.

The whole day was

enjoyable!

I seemed to be

functioning on a

higher level.

I couldn’t think

about the past

or the future,

I was right in

the now–and

it wasn’t humdrum

boring as usual.

There were

challenges,

but whatever life

threw at me,

I was going

to handle it,

and go back

to having fun,

immediately.

If I was going to live,

it was going to be fun

and enjoyable.

The Date

The date said to the palm,

release me.

But it would not let go.

You’re not ripe yet.

Maybe in a few more

days…

It’s not fair said the

date.  I want to

drop to the ground

and bask in

my freedom

as sweet as can

be.

Soon enough

cried the palm

soon you will

be on your way

to producing

your own dates.

You’ll have

more than you

need and can

share them with

everyone.

The date smiled

inwardly wanting

to drop all the more.

Date palm tree orchard with ripening fruit. Indio, California

Photograph © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

 

Gut Feelings

I always try to

follow my intuition.

When the move is scary

or guilt-producing

I preface by saying, “stop

me if this isn’t right, or

encourage me if it is.”

Once in a while I’m blocked

but most of the time, I’m

not.

And I continue to check

in.  I do the best I can

and when unfortunate

circumstances, pain

occurs, I’m working

on not assigning blame–

anywhere, esp. at

myself.

Mistakes can happen.

I say, “this is the best

thing that could be

happening to me right

now”, and then I try to

find the reason why that

is so–the sooner the

better!  It takes what it

takes.  To see the light

in the cloud–the silver

lining as they say.

I still try to follow my

gut feeling.  It knows best.

Photograph © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/