openness

Friendship

I want to enter into &

merge with your feelings.

I want a connection, a bond

to form,  unlike any I’ve ever

had before.

Those were tentative.  The

back door was always open.

Ready to be dashed out of at any

moment.  For an escape

of commitment.

How injurious of myself

to hesitate, to risk entering

into a feeling partnership

with another–at least

initially–to form a

basis for a stronger bond.

I must be easy on myself,

not ever having bared that

vulnerable part of myself

much in my life.

‘Mistakes’ of fear & hiding

as so painful.  Much

more so than opening

I would think when I have

the courage to do it.

I’m ready to start

practicing.  Any other

way is just too painful

to run from.

v06280dl

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: best buddies, courage, creative, creative writing, friends, learning, love, openness, people, Poetry, risk, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Feel

Why go on?

The way I am?

What for?

It can be so

unsatisfying.

When I think

of all I’m

shutting out

by choosing

to choose

the same old

same old

humdrum

of my life.

I feel cowardly

doing that.

Playing it safe

nauseates me.

I don’t know

where to head

but anywhere

else is probably

a good start.

How do I

find the courage

to walk out

on my own,

trusting in

my worth

to provide

for me

as the “old”

way did?

I know I need to

soul search

and how is that

going?

Very slow to

Nada.

My soul feels

empty of any

confidence

I might gather

to strip to

the bone

all away

that covers

my, as yet

undiscovered

dreams

Close up of Foxglove flowers.

that are only a

few steps away

toward engaging

with that path.

I hope something

comes along to

jet stream

me to a more

satisfying, less

stuck, path.

All I can do

is be open

and willing,

I guess,

to embrace

my fears.

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: awareness, courage, creative, creative writing, growth, openness, Poetry, risk, time, Uncategorized, visibility | Leave a comment

Open

Open to sychonricity.

Be prepared

like a boy scout.

Opportunities will appear.

Where did that come from?

you may exclaim!

Just what I was looking for.

A sharp (knife, idea, person)

to utilize, to use.

Come to the table.

Let’s discuss it.

A bargain is a bargain.

Overpriced, I pass up.

My way is strewn

with bargains.

Categories: creative writing, openness, Poetry, possibilities, surprise, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Foggy Notions

Words, words, words

worming their way

in and through

your life.

They’re only the messenger.

The message is what you want.

Sans words.

So much more is said

but people are afraid to

voice it

between the lines

between the sentences.

It’s all there

but many are afraid

to own up to it, to own it,

take responsibility for

saying or failing to say

what is really on their mind–

what is real.

So all this fog & smoke &

mirrors distorts the person

whose message never

gets heard because he’s or she’s

afraid to say it, to say what

they (really) feel.

Shame.  A real shame.

Close up of Teddy Bear Sunflower.

Close up of Teddy Bear Sunflower.

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

 

 

 

Categories: courage, creative, creative writing, fear, openness, people, Poetry, real, Uncategorized, visibility, writing | Leave a comment

Not Sure What to Call This

“Do not fear mistakes,” Miles Davis told us.

“There are none.”

That (quote) helps me get started

in whatever I’m going to write.

I have a transition with the

full moon and time to “see”

what’s been happening in

my life.

With a week “off” from work

I should be able to set some

things straight.

Already, I see how having

more free time frees up

areas I could not devote

time to previously.

My body is going through

a major cleansing I feel

during this time.  More

healing foods are being

consumed and the universe

has an opportunity to

teach me some lessons–

sorely needed–to move

my life along to the next

phase.

We only go forward

when we’re ready.

So, all this thrashing

about trying to hurry

here and there, thinking

we’re going to improve our

speed of manifesting

what we want

is mostly useless.

All efforting like that

is a reversal of the river

which wants to go

toward the sea.  (I wrote

see initially–Freudian

slip but apropos).

I want to not just

sit and stare out the

window but neither

do I want to try really

hard to make my wishes

come into being quicker

than I’m ready to receive

them.

It’s kind of disheartening

to realize this and even

can lead to giving up

which may be just the

thing I need to let

my guidance carry

most of the load and

not fight it so much.

Fear and Love compete

for my attention–

only one can be center

stage at a time.

So, I’m not sure

what I love.

I love this writing.

I have a busy,

active life and if

I were to budget-cut all

the non-loving things

from it, I’m not sure

where I’d begin.  I

enjoy my life so much

with meditation driving

much of that enjoyment,

naturally.

Yet, I can stumble over

my own feet trying to get

to the love.  It always

seems just next, never

now, so much.

So maybe I can work on

that and practice will

open up my vision to just

how much what I’m

doing in the present

moment is something I

love & don’t need to

feel I’m “going

somewhere” to feel

better than I’m capable

of feeling now, in the

moment.

I’ve known all this

intellectually for eons

it seems, but emotionally

I’m beginning to be able

to live it as a reality

in my body, away from

my head.

I don’t know how much

further I want to go

with this but I

just thought I would

take time & prepare

myself for a longer

piece than I usually

write, figuring some

will take time to read

the length of it

and hopefully it won’t

be diluted by its

lengthiness.

Close up of Osteosperum margarita Pink Flare.

Close up of Osteosperum margarita Pink Flare.

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Categories: busyness, creative, creative writing, fear, love, Meditation, now, openness, Poetry, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Passion

I want to live my life with passion!

To so look forward to each day

and moment of life–

to cherish all my presence on

this planet.

Not to waste my days in fear.

I could fake it, but I’d

rather feel it as real, within

me.

I’m open to finding what

this reality of passionate

living is for me & feels

like on a daily, minute

to minute basis.

I want to broach that wall

of invisible fear and reach

out in directions that would

facilitate discovering such a

purpose.

What can I be excited about??

Whatever it is, I’m still looking–

with eyes wide open.

High waves during storm at Devils Churn, Oregon.

High waves during storm at Devils Churn, Oregon.

Categories: awareness, courage, creative, creative writing, fear, fun, growth, openness, Poetry, Uncategorized, vision | Leave a comment

Soulmates

My soul hungers and thirsts

after “security” (my imagined

antidote to fear) as if there could

really be such a thing.

Uncertainty harbors all

possibilities.

Choose, and the availability

of the universe closes off a

little.

In the meantime, to not feel

left without, you have to tread

anxieties’ narrow, narrow path

hoping that you bet on

the right horse.

It’s completely counter-

intuitive to our cultures’

ways.

White picket fences aside,

if you’re free and available,

the universe can come calling,

and ask for the next dance.

If it’s a song you like, then

waiting was worth it, and your

faith affirmed.

Categories: courage, creative, creative writing, faith, openness, Poetry, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Inside Resides…

Three tries & this one

gets done & out there.

Inside, I think

emptiness dwells

or at least has a

double-barred door

blocking its access.

Behind the wall of

illusive resistance,

lies gold.

Lain buried for

so long

as to be tarnished.

A quick polish

will restore its

luster.

You just have to

get to it,

burrow in,

bore through.

A safe deposit box

are you.

Spill your contents.

A house cleaning

is necessary, and

in order.

Then you can find

what you want,

easily.

Just get through

that double-barred

dam door, of not

good enough, you’ve

built!

Categories: abundance, courage, creative, creative writing, hoard, inside, openness, Poetry, Uncategorized, visibility, writing | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Change

I feel I’m going through a

major re-learning phase.

How to be human.  How to

be an emotional human being

instead of a “mental” robotic

run by my left brain Logic, Spock

mentality.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Inside is painful

intense feelings

very sensitive

feels “everything”

whereas before

I was “numb’

mostly, to the

awareness of these

feelings.

How could that be?

But it was.

I was too fragile

to come out into

the world

as a full butterfly.

Too fragile to fly.

Or even just be

a human being.

What I was before

I cannot say.

Half–one quarter?

alive?  only it seemed

like I was fully

alive.  Except for

that one part of

me that “connected”

with another.

I was dysfunctional

in that emotional

area like a limb

with no feeling

but still there

& I carried it along

wherever I went.

Categories: creative, creative writing, disarming, openness, Poetry, Uncategorized, visibility | Tags: | Leave a comment

Trust

I just want to be honest & real

with people, but I’m afraid.

I know I see through people’s facades

or fronts, yet I hesitate to mention

or talk about it.  As they don’t

volunteer such “private” feelings

with me, either, so easily.

Yet we don’t communicate with

“real” feelings.  I know I shut

down–at least, partially– when

painful feelings arise, esp, unexpectedly.

I need to be gently led into & through

them and most people aren’t

aware (or skilled) of my sensitivity.

Yet, it shouldn’t be so painful

to be real, to say what you think

and feel, as long as it’s not hurtful

to others.

There won’t be a need for this one day

as we’ll all communicate mind

to mind (or heart to heart) and nothing

will be, or could be, hidden.  But all

the negativity will be gone from

us at that point–we will be

totally loving beings–no

possibility for hurt will

exist.

Still, I know people are

open & intimate with each

other and trust is not an

issue or such an issue.s01071dl

Sea grass and tidepools at minus tide. Devils Punchbowl State Natural Area, Oregon

Photography © Dennis Frates Photography  http://www.fratesphoto.com/

Categories: awareness, courage, creative, creative writing, fear, friends, love, openness, Poetry, real, risk, time, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

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